Auto Theft

If you live in America, auto theft should be on your mind. I’ve already had my car stolen two times. Since then I’ve taken what steps I can to avoid it, but someone can always steal your car if they really want to.

 Car Defenses

 South African Flame Throwers

Now that’s the ultimate defense. I’d love to have that. Of course we’d be afraid it would go off on our kids or ourselves.

Thief Impalement

Someone made a thing that sat under their seat that shot something straight up into thieves. I’m sure that’s completely illegal and if not, wouldn’t you be worried it would go off by mistake?

Shocker Car

People made a car that shocks thieves.

 Shaved Door Handles

One really cool thing I’ve seen (rarely) is people remove all the handles and shave the doors (make the location where the handles were completely flat/streamlined) removing any possibilty of entering the car without the remote. I’d love to do that someday.

 More realistic items

 Car Alarms

I always have one but they don’t really stop someone from stealing your car. They only help defeat the complete amature car thiefs or people that might screw with your car. A car alarm is always recommended. Most cars come with them now anyway.

Kill Switch

One of the best methods for keeping your car from being stolen is a hidden kill switch. You have to flip this switch or do some code to turn your car on. This requires some custom work on your car so it’s not really common. There might be some people out there to install it for you.


In the 1990s everyone had “THE CLUB.” The red club that goes over your steering wheel. But those are easily bypassed. Don’t ever get those or look up youtube videos on them.

 I got a different type of club which hopefully has no real counter. I’ve never had my car stolen since getting it.

 I had a taser club for a while. But it ate up batteries like crazy. It also scared the shit out of everyone. It might have been illegal too for all I know. The idea was you got tasered if you tried to touch it. It was hilarious. It had a remote too. I finally just threw it away because I wasn’t as concerned with protecting my car.

 GPS Tracking/Lojack/etc

I tried it out. It was super expensive and the thieves stole my lojack and it didn’t help the cops find the car at all. After that, I didn’t get them anymore. Maybe there’s some good one to use but it’s my understanding that they are easy to find and disable. The thieves just learn where each brand are installed and search there. Maybe you have more current knowledge or somehow this has improved since 1999.

  •  Special Keys – Some fancy cars come with a special key that is required to run the car, then the thieves hopefully can’t duplicate it or bypass it, too easily.
  • Removing the Steering Wheel – I’ve seen this as an option years ago but now that they contain airbags, that’s no longer an option except on old cars.
  •  Wheels –Get some wheel locks. These are special lug nuts on your wheel with a key pattern. That prevents a person with a regular tire wrench from getting your wheels off. There are other methods of getting your wheel off so it’s not 100% but it’s some protection against rookies. I’ve never even heard of someone getting their wheels stolen. I’ve only seen it in movies. But I still have the keys just in case. I did run into a horrible situation where the lock got lost, I had to pay to get the nuts removed. Then pay to get new locks. I swear THEY were the ones that lost the nut to, not me. It would be smart to then hide your nut lock somewhere if you can. But try to not hide it from yourself haha.

Anything else? Let us know.

General Prevention

 Your Location

Your location is the main indicator as to whether your car will be stolen. For example Phoenix, AZ has/had a huge car theft problem. Katan went there and got his Saturn stolen. Who would steal a Saturn? Look up the crime statistics for auth theft in your area. You can also look up the crime blogs and crime maps for your area.

 Car Choice

Your car choice is the biggest thing that will influence whether your car is stolen or not. You can look up the top stolen cars, maybe even for your area.. Both of the cars I had that were stolen were in the top 10 stolen car list (Civic/Camery). Ideally you pick a car that no one wants to steal. I always had sleeper cars that look slow but had powerful engines hidden below. If you are flashy with your car or car choice, don’t be surprised if you have to spend extra time defending your car.

Parking Choice/Safeguards

I often say, “I’m not taking my car to that place. Let’s take your car” My dad is even more sensitive about his car. He’s never even had his car stolen to my knowledge and he’s nearly 70. There are certain areas you should avoid and avoid parking in to obviously avoid having your car stolen. The movies are true. If you take your fancy car to downtown ghetto street and park it. Kiss it goodbye.

  • If you’re heading to a bad area, try to trick someone else into driving if you can. For example when I went to E3 which was downtown LA, I’d take the work bus instead of driving sometimes.
  • Park in lighted areas vs. dark areas
  • Pay more to park in a nicer area if you have to
  • Don’t be a dick in how you park (parking too close, taking up multiple spots).
  • Avoid obnoxious bumper stickers or sports teams which may cause people to target your car. You want people to think NOTHING about your car when they see it. So they’ll leave it alone.
  • Try to park in areas with cars that are way better than yours. So the thieves will target their car and not yours.
  • You can keep your car dirty to make it look less valuable. If you are lazy, you won’t even have to try to accomplish this.
  • Speaking of valuables, take everything that isn’t nailed down with you. Take your stereo faceplate (if it detaches), radar detector, bags, etc. You should do that if you ever have your car worked on too. I remove everything that isn’t nailed down that has any worth.
  • If you have a trunk that locks special, use it. I have this switch in the trunk that prevents it from being opened from the inside release latch.
  • There’s also some cars (my Honda had it) that have a lock on the inside trunk release latch. You can lock that, then people can’t get in your trunk. I stow my stuff in the trunk and lock it. My last car had a trunk popper with the alarm. It let me open the trunk by remote. My new one doesn’t have that sadly. You can pay to get them installed tho.
  • Speakers – When they stole my car they ripped the inside up looking for speakers. Since my car was 6 days old I had nothing but lame stock speakers. So they had nothing to steal. Some people put $1,000s into their stereos, especially, it seems, in the poorer areas. I always just stick with the stock stereo or get a new head unit and leave the speakers. If you do decide to upgrade your speakers, see if there’s some way to protect them from being obvious or from being stolen.

Tips from Expeirence (being stolen 2x)

Keep your deductible low on your car insurance. I had to pay $1,000 deductible because I had set it so high.

The cops are never going to catch the thieves. My first car stolen was abandoned and set on fire. The next one, they found the car abandoned the next day with only a little damage. Cops never spend any time catching car thieves unless something magical happens. They’re never going to go find the people


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    • Sick_of_A$$Hats_on_the_road on:
      OMG - I haven't laughed so hard in a long, long time!! This was brilliant, JDP 2005!! I realize it's from 2014 ... I'm only now seeing it. Loved it!! Totally relate to all!
    • Disillusioned_CA_Transplant on:
      Hey, I'm liberal, but I'm an intelligent, east-coast liberal who moved here and I agree with everything you posted except the liberal part ... they are mostly mindless morons - but this goes beyond politics. I too have driven in just about every state in the Union and overseas. Although most states have their fair share of asshole drivers who have many of the bad habits listed above (FL especially), CA seems to have them ALL, and then some!! Ugh.
    • John Carponti on:
      I wish that Cali drivers would stay in California and not come to Las Vegas, Nevada! They are some of the worst drivers I have seen and generally make driving on the I-15 miserable. They seem to think that the speed limit signs don't apply to them. When they leave Vegas and head South on I-15 they jam and back up the Interstate near Primm for hours because all these morons all leave at the same time on Sunday. When it gets backed up they act like the emergency lane is their own private express lane and utilize it illegally. Truth be known, here in Las Vegas we hate people who come here from California. Do us a favor, stay where you are and don't come here. Trust me, we think of you as the a-holes you are.
    • Koko on:
      Top Other Enemies
      In my area Subaru drivers and Honda drivers are the worst.
    • Koko on:
      Top Other Enemies
      In Oregon it's the California drivers and tourists that drive me insane, like no, it's not OK to drive slowly in the left lane when there is only two lanes.and one lane is pilled up with semi trucks, My town has been invaded with s.Californians and have ruined the driving experience. They'll stop in the middle,soft he road to take pictures of deer. They'll take up literally every parking spot down town, cut you off on the freeway even though no on is behind you. Use their phones because they for some reason think it's legal in Oregon, as if we are that backwards and behind in times. Text and drive. And drive like complete a holes because they can't figure out how to bet around in a small town where literally every road gets you where you need to go.
    • Miles on:
      Asian Drivers
      parker ain't wrong though lol
    • Laura on:
      THANK YOU!! I couldn't agree with you more! I just moved here from Kirkland, WA last July and I'm already thinking about moving back. I'm already sick of all the people here in California that have such self entitlement attitudes and such disregard for life they think the traffic laws don't apply to them. Since I've been here I've almost been in several accidents and almost been run over in a crosswalk but these people don't care! They are reckless A$$holes!!
    • Laura on:
      Totally agree!! I moved here not even a year ago and I'm already thinking about moving back!
    • JANE DOE on:
    • BT on:
      Hey, I'm stuck in CA driving with these idiots all the time. But you can't complain if you're from TX about CA drivers, although it is the only TX place I have been, Houston drivers are just as bad.
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    I’ve driven in California since 1991. I’ve spent many trips running up and down the state as well as driving in many other states. After all of this driving, I became fed up with how bad California drivers on. I wanted to point out what they do to either help change a few drivers or at least entertain the rest of the world with Californian’s horrible driving.

    I’m located in Orange County in a couple of the richest areas. I see every type of car that is out there in this area. It’s like a car show. Going to a car show isn’t exciting anymore because you see most of the cars driving around anyway. I also work at a place where people buy all the different types of cars. We have Lamborghinis, Ferraris, Lotus, etc. So you can even see a lot of the cars in the work parking lot.

    Disclaimer: You’re on your own with these tips. They are not the official law and in no way represent what you should be doing should a cop pull you over.

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