Enemy Vehicles

A large part of succeeding at driving is knowing what to expect out of people. You must know what people are going to do or are capable of doing. Know their every move and how to counter it.

The following page lists certain types of cars and actions according to past experience driving in California, Michigan and cross country. There are exceptions to everything so none of these are set in stone, I would just make a bet that overall, percentage wise they would be true. If these offend you, can’t say I care, just don’t take it personally.

1. Police

Check out the sections on the site for more details.

2. Construction Crews

No one else can screw a road over more than them. They close roads. They close lanes. They go on vacation after closing and f-ing up the roads with no intention on ever fixing any of it. In San Diego they built a bridge for something like 10-12 years. In World War II days they would do something like that in week(s).

3. Farm Equipment

If you’ve ever seen these, they hog road at an extremely slow speed. Often they spill over to multiple lanes. You usually only see these in rurarl areas. To be honest I almost never see them in my area. But when I’ve lived in other areas I saw them more often.

4. Wide Loads

You sometimes see these on the freeway or highways, particularlly when they are only 2 lanes. A huge semi hogs more than one lane with little trucks with orange flashers ahead/behind making sure you can’t pass them. I’ve only ran into these a few times but if you head across the country on a drive, you’re more likely to find them. It totally sucks when you do get stuck behind them.

5. Bicycles

The last thing you want to do is kill someone on a bicycle. It’s hard to claim right of way vs. bicycles too. The hard core bicycle riders pretend they are cars and hog the road while being on roads with speed limits of 55 mph+. I hate bike riders. I always use the sidewalk, bike paths, or bike lane rarely. You’re not a car. Quit trying to be a car unless there’s no other place for your bike to go. Always avoid bicycles. Change lanes or go way around them just in case they fall over in your way.

6. Cement Trucks

Try to drive one in a video game like GTA or Saint’s Row. They take an hour to accelerate just in real life. If you ever get stuck behind one, esp at a light, it will take so long to get going. You should always switch to a different lane, even if that lane has a long line of cars going way back.

7. School Buses

When the red lights turn on, everyone has to stop for the safety of the kids. Luckily I never have to deal with this because I’m always at work during school hours. But maybe someday.

8. Buses

As gas becomes more expensive, more people are taking the bus. The buses are slow as shit and stop in the right lane. At some stops they have a special area to stop but many other areas, they block the entire lane. If you’re not on top of things, you get stuck behind a stopped bus waiting for them to go or for everyone to drive by in the left lane before you can go around it.

9. Handicap Cars

Handicap drivers usually drive like they are handicaped.The usual reason is that they are often old people. Other reasons include not being able to physically control their car. Sometimes handicap people are so mad at the world and express it in their cars. The usual reason though, is old people. When you see the blue handicap sign on the license plate, RUN. Avoid them. Change lanes. They are going to hit you.

10. Vans

Read more about vans here.

11. SUVs/Trucks

Read more about Trucks/SUVs here.

12. Semis

Trucks are Slow
That’s something that is not the drivers fault but it is so if they refuse to pull over to the side of the road and let people by when they have the opportunity, which they quite often do not do.

Trucks can be dangerous to you when they are driving directly behind you. Their long breaking distance means if you suddenly stop, they may not be able to which could be deadly for you.

Trucks are dangerous on hills. When going up them, they sometimes get down to barely a crawl. In multiple lanes, this gets you down to a crawl too, this puts you in a position where you have to pass them but you’re going such a slow speed you can’t make your way safetly into the left lanes. Realize this when you’re on the other side of the coin. When you see those slow trucks with cars lugging behind them, stay away as far left as possible because you know those slow cars will be trying to get out left around them possibly trying to kill you in the process.

Trucks are very dangerous on freeway onramps. They enter the freeway at speeds as little as 45 mph when other drivers are going 80 mph+ this puts you in the exact situation as described above. Because of this if there is anything you can do to get around the truck before you get to the merge part of the onramp, do it. Better some wacky illegal move than to get killed trying to enter the freeway behind the truck. Another solution would be to pull over and let that truck get on the freeway before you make your try. That way you can make a running leep at it.

Truck drivers drive much more than us usually. The ones that drive more are quite often the nice guys who pull over to let you by and let you know when you’ve passed them. It’s the idiots who have received no training that are probably the bad ones and there seems to be quite a bit of them.

If the truck diver is nice enough to pull over or gets to the right far enough to let you pass, then give him a friendly beep beep when he goes by. The people who make me pass I generally do the opposite 🙂

Trucks are big
This makes them extremely hard to pass at times. Their long size and the slow speeds they get you going make it hard to pass them. You need a much longer passing distance than normal.

Sometimes their slow speed can push you over the edge making you attempt passes that are probably not the safest. It is because of this that they are a big enemy on the list.

13. Zoners (People from Arizona)

They come from Arizona and have no idea how to drive in California.

14. Cruising Motorcycles

You ever seen those giant bike conventions/gangs? Every so often you come across a large group of bikers. Depends on where you live. If you see them, it’s like a mile of these biotchs. There is no way in hell you can pass that many. And on top of that they never go above 65 mph. At least any I’ve seen.

15. Mopeds/Scooters

These people should be in the bike lane with their super slow vehicles. It would be safer for them. Some of them do use the bike lane. But others think they are cars or have real motorcycles and really hog up the road. You have to pass them on the right. I hate them.  The cops should be pulling them over for causing such a disruption to traffic.

14. Smart Cars

These things are tiny and if you hit them, you’ll probably kill the hippy drivers. They also enjoy going in the fast lane slow as shit somehow sticking it to you because you’re a gas guzzler for having a normal car. I even see them somtimes in the fast lane going 60-65 mph. I hate these people.

16. BMW/Mercedes

Usually it’s more BMW people, than Mercedes..

Usually there are about 3 types of those people. Group A, the minority, which is the people that stick to the slow lane, signal and drive along. My favorite group. Next, Group B, the people that drive insanely fast, cutting people off left and right, not signally ever. Group C. That Car phone talking lane hoggers. Oh you don’t mind if I take over the fast lane and jabber on the phone do you?

The common theme I notice with people that drive both type of car is most of them never signal. A random survey of 4 BMWs, 2 Mercedes on the way to work, not one of them signaled ever, no matter how many times they changed lanes. It’s almost as if they believe spending all that money on the car gives them some right to hog lanes, cut people off, and not signal. I have nothing but problems with these people everywhere I go. I really hate them 🙂

Yet another impression I get from these people is that they are snooty, as if they were better than the rest of us.

17. Front BC

You probably gotta be in California to know what I’m talking about. Those are cars from Mexico. They usually do about 10 mph and it’s a wonder they stay on the road 🙂 You’re only screwed if you get stuck behind them. Sometimes they are barely held together by duct tape. Often if you’re hit by them, you have no chance of them paying to fix anything.


2 Responses to “Enemy Vehicles”

  1. expectnothing says:

    School Buses — I used to live rurally and the freeways for 1 lane in each direction 65MPH. These busses went 55-60. Then when they had a turn, they went to 45MPH a whole 5 miles before the turn. 1 mile before the turn they went 35. And this was during the time of day when there were enough cars so you can`t pass. Then well I know a lot of drivers basically park their car to make a right turn, but these guys do it for about 200 feet, just going 1MPH. At some point I pass them.

    These drivers just like to be jerks to everyone else on the road. When I am in a hurry and these things are in front of me, I need to pass them quick or they stop for 5 minutes and then there`s cars backed up and passing so it`s then impossible to pass and soon they stop again for another 5 minutes. If there`s no way around it`s really bad.

    ..

    What are Front BC? I checked wikipedia and google and couldn`t find even a photo. I don`t know if this is a car, truck, or Mexican donkey.

    Smart Cars — The gas are 0-60 in 12 seconds. The electric are 0-60 in 6 seconds so the electric don`t have horrible acceleration like the gas ones. The newer ones are supposed to have good crash protection. I don`t have one, I have just researched them.

    ivehadnoduisforthreeweeks

  2. expectnothing says:

    @ Construction Vehicles:

    I used to think they were annoying as heck too, then I lived in Delaware for a year. Wow, down there, construction vehicles are so low priority it’s not even funny. I once saw them tear up a 10 mile stretch of Rt 81 and completely repath it while replacing four road bridges with wider ones in 1 month.

    After that, I realized construction vehicles are very much a state issue. Given, I’ve seen another state have a better Department of Transportation as Delaware >.>

    Hammer

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    • Lina on:
      Why?
      I don't understand how these amazing people are so terrible driving a car!!! California drivers totally suck!!! DMV need to do something! :(
    • Your bad at driving too on:
      Why?
      You realize you're adding to the problem judging from your reactions to others incapable driving. I stopped reading because I know your one of the worst of them all and this is a hypocritical article. You should all have your licenses taken away.
    • BJ on:
      Why?
      I do not see hit and run accidents as much as anywhere in this country. Everyday morning, there are so many cases I see on the news.. Why???? If it rains, forget it... You think you have to drive 20 mph on the highway when you see a rain drop.... People drive in rain and snow all the time. I see that CA people are not used to drive with rain but at least try to learn instead of driving 20 mph and saying it is safer... Why don't you walk instead? It is much safer that way.
    • BJ Yangberg on:
      Why?
      I have lived in FL, AL, MA, MD, NJ, NY and now in CA. CA drivers are the worst among all the states I have lived. Therefore, I am trying to be very truthful and input with "Fact Base" here. I agree lots of things said above but there are some other things. 1. Turn Signal (Already Mentioned) I videotaped so many times because it really made me laugh and angry. I say 30% would be pretty high for people use blinkers. In other state, you get a ticket if you did not use blinkers. In SoCal, No one uses blinkers and it is ok. When they use it, it is not that you would like to let other drivers to know that you are changing the lane of making a turn. Lots of people do it in the middle of the turn. Why bother? 2. Texting People still text while driving and I see that everyday everywhere. When they do, I noticed that majority of them go 35mph on 50mph zone and causing traffic. PLEASE pull over, text and get back on the road. Stay away from your phone... 3. Traffic Light I see so many people in the front so far away from the line so that they do not even go over the sensor on the road. Another thing is you leave 2 school buses space between the car in front of you and your car. One light can make 10 cars pass but with this, only 4 get to go. I know CA people are very laid back, relaxed but come on... Let's move. If you are making turns, please use your blinkers before you get on the left or right lane, not after you get on the turning lane then turn the signal. When you are suddenly slowing down, people behind you do not know what you are doing. 4. Highway Driving It is called "Freeway" here in CA. I get it. But it doesn't mean you can go 50mph on the left lane causing traffic, people keep passing you on the right. If you would like to drive slow, it is your choice but do not cause a massive traffic or make other people to pass you on the right. There are other countries that left lane is specifically for passing and you will get a ticket if you hold up a traffic. It is a common sense. My 3 years of driving experience in CA has been nothing but nightmare... People just stop in the middle of the road without turning signal or any justification. I find it very selfish... I can't wait to get out of CA not to deal with driving. I have driven in most of States but CA makes the worst of all. It is a FACT....
    • BJ Yangberg on:
      Why?
      When you are on HOV lane or passing lane going 50 mph in 65 mph zone, cars passing within speed limit on your right side, please move over. Do not block the whole traffic behind you. Be courteous... I see people leaving 10 school buses space in between cars. Move along with the traffic so that you do not have to be causing the traffic. If you do not want to drive with speed limit, then move over to your right and let others move...
    • Vic on:
      Why?
      "Quite often you see people that will turn right in front of you cutting you off when you are going some insane speed." The problem is your driving at an insane speed. It's insane aa you say.
    • Vic on:
      Why?
      Who the hell do you think you are thinking like you own the road driving dangerously fast, putting lives in jeopardy? Slower, law abiding drivers also have a right to get in the fast lane if they need to switch freeways. I hope they install cameras to get all these potential murderers.
    • parker on:
      Asian Drivers
      same as american ladies. they drives suck
    • shane on:
      Don't piss off the truckers
      I have lived in cali for about 5 years now, originally from the mid west. one thing I notice is truck drivers are complete asshloes here. they always drive in the far right lane, don't even slow down to let cars merge. they act like they're driving minis and not an 18 ton car crusher.complete disregard for safty and totally unprofessional. maybe we need another way to ship goods!!!
    • Shijian zhang on:
      Why?
      Hey, bro. I think you might be one of those bad driver! Many people said most left lab is a express lane! Who tol you that? Is there any different limit speed for different lane on the free way? Limit speed for any of the lanes on the free way! Of course I agree that slower traffics are better to stay in the most right lane but it is doesn't mean that you can go over speeding in the most left lane on the free way! I am a California driving instructor and owner. I believe that you need to learn driving again!

  • About

    I’ve driven in California since 1991. I’ve spent many trips running up and down the state as well as driving in many other states. After all of this driving, I became fed up with how bad California drivers on. I wanted to point out what they do to either help change a few drivers or at least entertain the rest of the world with Californian’s horrible driving.

    I’m located in Orange County in a couple of the richest areas. I see every type of car that is out there in this area. It’s like a car show. Going to a car show isn’t exciting anymore because you see most of the cars driving around anyway. I also work at a place where people buy all the different types of cars. We have Lamborghinis, Ferraris, Lotus, etc. So you can even see a lot of the cars in the work parking lot.

    Disclaimer: You’re on your own with these tips. They are not the official law and in no way represent what you should be doing should a cop pull you over.

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