My Tickets

My Tickets…

Ticket 1 (1994)
It took them 4 years to get me. Here’s how they did it. I had to pick my roommate up at the air port and he went to an air port he didn’t normally fly in from so I went to the wrong one. So I was rushing to get to the right one. I went to Oakland instead of San Francisco. I had just paid the toll on the bay bridge when the cop was on my tail. CHP. I didn’t have anywhere to pull over so I road the length of the bridge and pulled over. I asked him if he wanted my registration, I had never got pulled over before. He said nah he already ran my plates on the bridge. He asks me if I was a criminal law student or something. I said nope. Maybe I shoulda. He said that because I did everything right. I read a book called “A speeder’s guide to avoiding tickets” It turns out the bridge was a 50 mph and I was doing like 85. He marked it down to 65 mph probably cuz I did all that crap in the book 🙂 I went to traffic school and it didn’t go on my record. The ticket
was $106. I guess they have that bridge rigged with cameras and the toll booth guy ratted me out. That’s just like cops, always doing it dirty.

Ticket 2 (1997)
In Michigan. Me and Warp were driving back from getting pizza when I round this corner into Andrews town. I was slowing down when the cop hit me with his radar. I didn’t have a dectector cuz those bitches stole it the other summer. I was slowing down too, I think he got me like 75 in a 55, I was going like 100  hahaha. The guy looked just like Newman on Seinfeld. He gave me all the usual, talking about danger blah blah. Yeah dude whatever. So after he gave me the ticket (He knew he couldn’t do jack crap to a Californian in Michigan) he took of like 80 mph to go to, GET THIS, the donut shop. Well there was one in the gas station he went to 🙂 Bitch. The cops near my college were so dirty. I would hear stories all the time of the crap they pulled. They were the kinda cops that drop a bag of dope on you saying OH look what I found 🙂 That one didn’t go on my record either as far as I know.

Ticket 3 (1999)
I was driving along in Irvine racing a girl in a Honda. After beating her, a Motorcycle Cop (the worst kind of cop) was sitting with his bike behind a Stop Light pole hit me with laser. Like a damn smiper. As he hit me, my V1 went off with a laser warning but by then there’s nothing you can do. Detectors are not the answer to Laser. He then told me I was doing like 72 in a 50 which was a total lie. I was at most in the lower 60s. Right after he pulled me over he got someone else at work and wrote down the same exact speed on his ticket 72 in a 50 proving he’s a lying pig. The guy at work took his ticket and mine to court and got out of his but I just went to traffic school. I should have fought it. Those Irvine Moto Cops are mo fos. I added a K-40 Laser Jammer afterwards in my old car.

Ticket #4 (November, 2005 – 9am)
I had just left my dads and got on I-80 west to San Francisco. I went into a big ticket area. I think my dad told me but I forgot. I was cruising in and out between the cars at 85+. A CHiP finally caught me. He was super mad because he had to work so hard to catch me. I didn’t see him otherwise I would have slowed down and made it easier to catch me. He runs over and goes “Tell me why I shouldn’t arrest you right now!” I just played dumb and acted like I had no idea what I’m doing. When he looked up my license he saw it was clean. So he sticks me with “unsafe lane change” and Speeding 85 in 65. This was 9 hour drive from my house. So what I did was just delay the ticket and drove up to my dads. I went to court and thought that’s the time where the cop shows up and if they miss it, you get off. But instead that was just the time when you go guilty or not and ask for a court date. But everyone before me was saying guilty and the judge was giving huge discounts on their tickets. Some people said they don’t have any money and he knocked off even more. So I said guilty and he took off the unsafe lane change and knocked about $200 off the ticket and I got traffic school. I did an online traffic school and because it’s web, I did it in like 1-2 hours. I totally recommend going to court and seeing if you can get your ticket reduced.

Ticket #5 (April 2007)
Not really a ticket but he busted me for speeding then stuck me with something else and left off the speeding. Ultimately I used a lawyer to get out any fines  except the lawyer fee.

Escapes

I’ve got pulled over a ton and I get off often.

Escape #1 (1997)
I got pulled over one other time. He asked me that question they learn to ask in pig school “Do you know how fast you were going?” This is a trick question to get you to admit to speeding or to deny it. But you get out of this question by saying “no I wasn’t paying attention” They hate it when you answer this way because they have no way of disproving that you were not paying attention. The cop then goes into the story about how dangerous it is to be going 50 in a 35 (yeah whatever) to which you sit there with this awe look on your face like you’re buying it. Since he couldn’t get me to admit to doing anything and he didn’t have radar so he had to let me go. He started to walk away and I was waiting for the ticket, so I said “is that it?” He said “oh why you want more?” I said no. and he left. Pig.

Escape #2 (2004?)
I had a carload of people coming back from LA on the 405. We were cruising in the carpool lane at like 80-85. A CHiP pulled us over. I pulled off to the side. They made me get out and do a drunk driving test (just walking around). Then at the end, let us go. Awesome!

Escape #3 (2007)
Irvine is one of the 10 safest cities. So there are a ton of cops and nothing to do. They say the cops are super bored. So they pull over people randomly and double cars on you like you’re about to attack them. One night I’m in my sweats and I was driving from one apartment to another across the street. I took off and a cop pulls me over. He tried to say I didn’t complete to a complete stop in my apartment complex. This area is not a public street so I can do whatever I want. The stop sign there is optional. They then proceeded to dig through my engine and under my car to discover two illegal mods. See they make up some bullshit reason to pull you over and hope they will catch you on other things like alcohol, drugs, illegal car mods, etc. What assholes. It’s no different than the Europe secret police. They threatened to two my car. I played dumb and said my friend did the mods (which was technically true). They said if I’m caught they would tow me. So essentially I did nothing and they just harassed me because they were bored. They didn’t give me a ticket or anything. But I went and removed those two mods (at my expense) because I was scared and lost 10 hp.

Escape #4 (Oct, 2011)
I see about 3-5 miles ahead there’s a cop that has pulled someone over. I think to myself, oh they’re going to go after me next. So I should have done a U-TURN and chose another road. But I continued on. Just as I was about to pass the cop, he gets done with the person he pulled over and did a U-TURN and starts following me. He pulled me over and asked me a bunch of questions. He said I had a light out on my license plate and that I had tinted windows. I said I had an appointment to get them removed already. I asked to look at the license plate and yeah it was out. I thanked him and he let me go without anything because he was just fishing. I had done nothing wrong.


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    • Auchoo on:
      Why?
      I know some very sweet people who drive like they just got behind the wheel, or as if they don't understand the laws of motion. I also know some very stressed people who drive like fools. I likely drive too fast at times, but I don't tailgate or weave or cut people off. I go with the general flow of traffic. I get angry when speed demons drive in the slow lanes and when slugs drive in the fast lane. Why? They're creating a perfect storm for accidents. We have no CHP. Or it seems that way. I can drive for months, for hundreds, thousands of miles, and NEVER see a CHP. Assanine law makers REFUSE to send us the money to hire more CHP. It's been an issue for decades. As the bureaucrats allow more illegals and unskilled drivers to drive on our roads and highways, and fail to deal with those who text and drive, and fail to police our hwys, we will continue to have sucky, dangerous roads, and people will continue to be killed on the hwy. Want change? Vote out the current law makers. The are blind bats.
    • dresden on:
      Why?
      If you want to go slow. Law states slow traffic to move to the right. No one owns the road. Also be mindful some people may have emergencies like a pregnancy.
    • dresden on:
      Why?
      So you admit you turn in front of people going the speed limit and force them to slow down? Sounds like your just another control freak who just has to mess with traffic. I haven't seen you cite any creative ideas to help everyone win. Here's an idea to help. Wait until its reasonably clear before you pull in front of people as tye dmv book states in many states. I even cited above a law too. You haven't cited anytbing. Sounds like your also a problem too. Demon speeders and control freaks who want to pull in front of people and stay in the left most lane for "freeway changes". You know they usually have a few lanes for you to be in (if you read the arrows on the sign) and there are usually two or three. So you can still pick a right slower lane even for freeway changes. So I think your just making excuses like a typical Californian to just mess with people and justify it. Your just as much a bully and just as much ignorant of the law. I am not siding with the author, but I also think you help continue to problems. I hope that on day when you have an emergency that someone goes slow in front of you and just holds you up so hopefully on the off chance you may gain self awareness that there's more than just you in the world. Selfishness has little to no value in society. Which means selfish boisterous and rude people like you are a cancer to society.
    • dresden on:
      Why?
      Remember that when you have an emergency that involves a family members life. Or when someone fails to yeild and holds up the ambulance. I Can't wait till I move to Idaho (they don't drive fast there), because they follow proper lane laws. If you think you own the road because because r vindicated in your opinion that your driving slower than the speed limit. Your no better than the demon speeders and your judgement is not only a futile double standard argument, it's also just as disrespectful to others just as much as driving like a dope fuel dragster jerk. So get see self awareness or just expect people like me to just challenge the weak foundation of your self righteousness with grandiose feeling of highfalutin narcissistic and just as selfish thinking. Make your freeway change and afterwords get over to the slow lane where the law states you belong. Dmv book, read it son.
    • dresden on:
      Why?
      I was born and raised in Cali, and have moved to and from Cali. Served my country and went to Korea (2014), no thanks needed. Before I lived in Idaho I enjoyed Cali (due to the tropical area we lived). After I came back to Cali, I just don't get it anymore. As a native, I wonder how they learned these balehaviours and how I missed them. Every time we drive we always have to drive defensively. Is there something in the water? Is it cause they are spoiled and pampered princesses? Quite a few of you hit the nail on the head. Do me a favor, spread the word about this. Perhaps years and years f a propeganda campaign on poor Cali driving may help brainwash them to want to change it to fight the offensive label. Use social media to politicize it until they are tired of hearing it and change. Usually if you label a group of people, they fight to change it. Look at every race in history and their struggles.
    • Roger on:
      Why?
      All drivers in Bay Area around San Francisco are the worse! They drive like headless chickens! Its horrible.
    • expectnothing on:
      Why?
      So true!
    • Joey on:
      Why?
      They are the dumbest people in the ENTIRE world, and I have been all over the world. The driving is derived from a lawless state and group of people who watch politicians have no rules and laws, so therefore they follow suit, which so happens to be "Follow the leader" which is a whole other problem of unoriginal thoughts that these mindless zombies have. But here is the real problem... the want-to-be utopian nature of everything, from the "yoga" to the "eco friendly" to the "lgbt" to the "rainbow parade" and the list goes on and on and on where they can find any reason to micromanage and control your daily life through the brainwash that turned them into the "Let's turn you into an idiot too" mentality... Those specific reasons give the green light for ANYONE and I mean ANYONE to act like a complete mindless, narcissistic socipathic WACKJOB and get away with it free and clear. The driving is just a mirror image of what is going on in these entitled liberal lefty wackos minds who have NO CONCEPT of REALITY outside of the borders of California. 2+2= 4.5 to these idiots all day long, but to be quite frank, there is a possibility that these idiots are mentally lobotomized from the insane levels of fluoride in their public water supply which taints their consciousness to be a walking zombie, just my opinion. All the noise, cars with loud volumes, very mixed society, house on top of house, low income jobs, overpopulation, rudeness, constant drinking and partying everywhere, insanely loud neighbors... THIS IS WHY THESE PEOPLE ARE SO NUMB!!!! <-- Someone who finds great relief finding this website, thank you.
    • Joey on:
      Why?
      or a better person... these are someone of the most ethically messed up people... with terrible intentions on purpose, and unfortunately if you call them out on it, they play dumb trying to make you question your own sanity. This state should float off far into the pacific. What a waste of human potential...
    • Lina on:
      Why?
      I don't understand how these amazing people are so terrible driving a car!!! California drivers totally suck!!! DMV need to do something! :(

  • About

    I’ve driven in California since 1991. I’ve spent many trips running up and down the state as well as driving in many other states. After all of this driving, I became fed up with how bad California drivers on. I wanted to point out what they do to either help change a few drivers or at least entertain the rest of the world with Californian’s horrible driving.

    I’m located in Orange County in a couple of the richest areas. I see every type of car that is out there in this area. It’s like a car show. Going to a car show isn’t exciting anymore because you see most of the cars driving around anyway. I also work at a place where people buy all the different types of cars. We have Lamborghinis, Ferraris, Lotus, etc. So you can even see a lot of the cars in the work parking lot.

    Disclaimer: You’re on your own with these tips. They are not the official law and in no way represent what you should be doing should a cop pull you over.

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