In rural areas and say northern California people get trucks for real applications such as for their jobs, working, or carrying stuff on a regular basis. However in Southern California and other parts, people get trucks just to be pushy jerks. You even see things such as a giant truck with a girl driving with “silly boys trucks are for girls.” They don’t haul anything and they’re jacked up really high where the girls can barely get in them and have big problems parking them. They can sometimes drive them ok but it’s really funny watching them try to park or get out/in the truck.

In the 80s/90s there were a lot of family vans. The Dodge Caravan was king. Then in the late 1990s and 2000s, people switched to SUVs. SUVs were higher and “cooler” than minivans. Guys don’t want to be stuck in a “lame minivan.” The top sales for several car companies are now SUVs. The SUVs are everywhere. Sometimes they are actually full of people but often it’s just one person driving a big SUV. That’s a big waste in gas and speed but if that’s what people want to do…What’s nice about SUVs are they are good for carrying families and carrying items in an enclosed space vs. the old days when you had a pickup truck with a tarp.

Then there are the truck people. They’re getting less common but what they do is take a truck or SUV or Hummer H2 and jack it up (raise/lift kit) really high. Often they raise the trucks to an illegal height. They think they are driving Big Foot. Nearly always they have a, “I’m a big truck, get out of my way” complex. Often peoples say “the bigger your truck, the smaller your dick.” They drive in the fast lane, often very slow with huge space ahead of them. They have a whole f everbody else attitude. People are forced to pass them on the right. Then often I cut back in front of them with no signal. You could get ran over by them, but as long as you go fast enough, don’t worry!

What happens when it is truck vs. truck? My friend drove a small pickup truck for years. What he discovered is whoever has the bigger truck wins. So a small truck will be hogging the fast lane and a bigger one will come up behind them and the smaller truck will get scared and get out of the way.

There are a lot of benefits to a SUV. The view is much better. Being up high is fun because you can see above most of the cars. Some SUVs might flip/turn over more, but otherwise are great in crashes vs. cars. SUVs are awesome for “pushing” people out of the way. You’ll discover as a car, no one gets out of your way. But once you get in a SUV or a vehicle that is big or up high, the people get scared and move out of the way. I rented an SUV two times for Thanksgiving and drove the 5 to Sacramento. I noticed a big difference vs. my car in how people got out of the way. So some switch to SUVs just to get some people to move out of their way. SUVs are also great for carrying things. Some SUVs can also tow camper trailers or boats. My next car might be the Buick Enclave (small SUV).

But ultimately most SUVs are often really poor gas milelage and hog the road and are dicks. They’re a huge enemy and scourge of the road.

SUV Trends
SUV people are always so trendy. There’s always an “IT” SUV that they all have to have. But then people can’t afford to upgrade to the latest trend. So they look hilariously like posers as they have aging “It” SUVs that are no longer cool or trendy. It’s hilarious. They tried to be trendy and now are outdated and sad. Here’s some of the trends over the years:
Toyota 4 Runner – One of the first SUVs. I rented one about 3 years back. It was pretty cool

Range Rover/Landrovers – People discovered that the UK had a totally awesome SUV that is good at off road. So then idiots in US bought them for insane prices. They put lame wheels on them and proceeded to never drive them off road, what they were designed for. I’ve always wanted one (to go off road).

Humvee – When the war started in 2003, people wanted to show their support for the troops. They loved the bad ass military Humvees. People discovered that you could buy a civilian version for only something like $150k. Well that was too expensive for some posers so they took a truck frame and dumped a fake Humvee body on it and sold the H2 to posers who couldn’t afford the real Humvee. So every time you see those laugh. They cost something like $50k but it’s still a poser version. Jackass in H2
They even made an H3 for people who couldn’t even afford that one. These were trendy back when gas prices were only $1-2 a gallon. But It’s really dumb to be driving those around at $3-4 a gallon. Now it’s just a statement that they have a lot of money to waste on gas.

BMW SUV – OMG BMW makes a SUV. These were the top cool SUV for a while.

Porsche SUV – This was suddenly the ultimate SUV. The twin turbo came in at something like $120,000. That’s more than my chick’s house in Oregon. There’s a cheaper version too. They’re pretty quick but my $9k car can still beat them. I see a ton of them around too. Lots of rich people here.

Lamborghini SUV? – Way back in 1986 they had a SUV. They looked awesome. This was never trendy but I thought I’d throw that in.

Cadillac Escalade – The SUV of drug dealers and rich people. I like the way they look but I hear they aren’t that great. We bought our Honda Odyssey from someone who had just bought one and they regretted it and wanted to keep the Odyssey but couldn’t.

Now? I just see 50 different types of SUVs.

Tips: Pass them on the right. If you’re an SUV driver, get out of the way and don’t hog the left lanes if a faster car comes up.

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    • Sick_of_A$$Hats_on_the_road on:
      OMG - I haven't laughed so hard in a long, long time!! This was brilliant, JDP 2005!! I realize it's from 2014 ... I'm only now seeing it. Loved it!! Totally relate to all!
    • Disillusioned_CA_Transplant on:
      Hey, I'm liberal, but I'm an intelligent, east-coast liberal who moved here and I agree with everything you posted except the liberal part ... they are mostly mindless morons - but this goes beyond politics. I too have driven in just about every state in the Union and overseas. Although most states have their fair share of asshole drivers who have many of the bad habits listed above (FL especially), CA seems to have them ALL, and then some!! Ugh.
    • John Carponti on:
      I wish that Cali drivers would stay in California and not come to Las Vegas, Nevada! They are some of the worst drivers I have seen and generally make driving on the I-15 miserable. They seem to think that the speed limit signs don't apply to them. When they leave Vegas and head South on I-15 they jam and back up the Interstate near Primm for hours because all these morons all leave at the same time on Sunday. When it gets backed up they act like the emergency lane is their own private express lane and utilize it illegally. Truth be known, here in Las Vegas we hate people who come here from California. Do us a favor, stay where you are and don't come here. Trust me, we think of you as the a-holes you are.
    • Koko on:
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      In my area Subaru drivers and Honda drivers are the worst.
    • Koko on:
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      In Oregon it's the California drivers and tourists that drive me insane, like no, it's not OK to drive slowly in the left lane when there is only two lanes.and one lane is pilled up with semi trucks, My town has been invaded with s.Californians and have ruined the driving experience. They'll stop in the middle,soft he road to take pictures of deer. They'll take up literally every parking spot down town, cut you off on the freeway even though no on is behind you. Use their phones because they for some reason think it's legal in Oregon, as if we are that backwards and behind in times. Text and drive. And drive like complete a holes because they can't figure out how to bet around in a small town where literally every road gets you where you need to go.
    • Miles on:
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      parker ain't wrong though lol
    • Laura on:
      THANK YOU!! I couldn't agree with you more! I just moved here from Kirkland, WA last July and I'm already thinking about moving back. I'm already sick of all the people here in California that have such self entitlement attitudes and such disregard for life they think the traffic laws don't apply to them. Since I've been here I've almost been in several accidents and almost been run over in a crosswalk but these people don't care! They are reckless A$$holes!!
    • Laura on:
      Totally agree!! I moved here not even a year ago and I'm already thinking about moving back!
    • JANE DOE on:
    • BT on:
      Hey, I'm stuck in CA driving with these idiots all the time. But you can't complain if you're from TX about CA drivers, although it is the only TX place I have been, Houston drivers are just as bad.
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    I’ve driven in California since 1991. I’ve spent many trips running up and down the state as well as driving in many other states. After all of this driving, I became fed up with how bad California drivers on. I wanted to point out what they do to either help change a few drivers or at least entertain the rest of the world with Californian’s horrible driving.

    I’m located in Orange County in a couple of the richest areas. I see every type of car that is out there in this area. It’s like a car show. Going to a car show isn’t exciting anymore because you see most of the cars driving around anyway. I also work at a place where people buy all the different types of cars. We have Lamborghinis, Ferraris, Lotus, etc. So you can even see a lot of the cars in the work parking lot.

    Disclaimer: You’re on your own with these tips. They are not the official law and in no way represent what you should be doing should a cop pull you over.

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