After 3+ months of over 1,000 miles a week, I think I now have discovered why vans do what they do. First let me say this doesn’t apply to all vans. There are always exceptions, this applies more to family vans. Work vans usually drive plenty fast.

Minivans are Road Hogs

Take a trip from L.A. to San Francisco. You’ll see one common thing, dipships in minivans in the fast lane, driving slow. 47/50 they will make you pass them on the right, very very rarely will you see them pull over to let you by. It doesn’t matter how empty the lanes are ahead, always the left lane, always slow.

For some reason the second minivans get on the road they head straight to the very fast lane and drive slow. I have no idea what makes them do this. I guess you could say just because they are idiots.

There are exceptions to this, work vans often do not apply. Instead of some family person (usually a woman) with a bunch of kids in the car who must drive safe (by hogging the lanes and driving slow) you have guys with real jobs and places to go that quite often drive your speed or faster.

Minivans enjoy cutting you off.

Yet another thing they can claim. On their way to the fast lane to drive slow (sometimes crossing 4 lanes to get there) they love to cut you off often times not even using their turn signals. You could blame this on the difficulty in seeing cars around them due to large blind spots, but not really when they have these magical devices known as MIRRORS.


It always bugged the hell out of me. Why are almost all vans like this? Then I got a chance to ride in a van and It all became so clear….

The basic reason why vans hog the fast lane and cut you off is because they are inconsiderate clueless morons but you can’t leave it at that. Let’s look closer.

Van people are scared to change lanes.

This is the core of the problem. The van people are either not skilled enough or are too wuss to do the job that gets them there at a fast rate: changing lanes. Just look at them, they look around and just wing it and hope for the best.

Van people want to be in the fast lane.

If you watch the van people, they head straight for the fast lane ASAP. Some of them look before they pass, others just ram there way there. Thankfully more look than not but the basic result is the same. Fast lane hoggers.

Van people want to get there the fastest and with the least trouble

That’s what the van people say that I and my friends have talked to. Their goal is to work their way into the fast lane because from there they can simply drive to get to their destination. It is their belief that the fast lane is some magicial lane that will get them there faster. The problem is and this makes me laugh, lots of other vans/big trucks have the same idea and they slow each other down, while I cruise along past them in the other lanes.

Van people have no situational awareness

Once they get to their fast lane, you will notice most have no idea what’s going on around them. They seem to only be concerned with what is ahead in their lane and what is going on in their van. Just go around them on the right and cut in. They sit there like it didn’t even happen even when the majority of traffic is doing it. It’s like they have no idea they are holding anyone up and if they do they simply don’t care. Smart or considerate people would get out of the way and occasionally on a blue moon I see a van do that. And I go NO WAY!

You won’t see this out of all vans but I see this out of the majority of vans in the fast lane. I believe the above conclusions are true.

Counter Moves.

There is nothing you can do to change these people. They are idiots and I know there’s nothing on the road for you to do to change them. But understanding their twisted logic goes a long way into making them less annoying 🙂

I enjoy passing these people on the right and cutting back in really close to scare them. Sure it’s not the safest thing to do but it makes me feel a little revenged. 🙂 A good flip off gesture never hurts either.


3 Responses to “Vans”

  1. expectnothing says:

    I recently re-read your article on minivans, and still find it to be mostly true. However, I have found that some mini-vans are actually worth driving (I still don’t really want to drive them though). For instance, the newer Ford Windstars are easy to see out of, and have some nice acceleration (Our’s is supposed to be 9.2 seconds from 0 to 60, but I can do it in 6.4 in ours 🙂 . Anyway, I think the majority of the problems with vans is that they _do_ feel ‘tippy’ (you’re sitting almost right above the wheels, of course it does!) and there is no actual comfort in one, they force you to sit in a way that causes tension–you sit with almost a forced perfect posture, something that is not relaxing. They also usually have weird layouts for all of the buttons (radio, heating/air conditioning, etc.) placed at an odd angle where you cannot see them peripherally and have to divert your eyes for a moment so you can see where the buttons are.Minivans would be sooo much more comfortable if they set the driver lower (in the seat) and then moved the driver backwards, so all of the controls were accessible to them.

    Currently they’re almost as bad as speed sensitive steering…


  2. expectnothing says:

    I read your page on minivans and being a part time minivan driver(when my car goes out the mini is my backup) I would like to shed some more light on the subject. The first real problem with minivans is that they have the pickup of a turtle. I swear it takes like 20 secs just to get to 65 sometimes. The second real problem are those blind spots. Even with mirrors you have these huge blindspots. When looking both ways at an intersection I usually have to lean forward and back just to see if there is any oncoming traffic. And looking around to see if it is safe to switch lanes, forget about it, it’s almost impossible. The last problem is that they take turns so bad it’s sick. For some reason it always feels like you’re gonna tip it over because they are so tall and bulky. I don’t know many people that can turn very well with those things.Capen Apple

  3. expectnothing says:

    I was on my out of my neighboorhood and there was a minivan in front of me. The minivan went to make a right and waited for the main street to clear a little, but she (the driver of the minivan) fit right into the minivan driver mold. She went straight to the fast lane (leftmost lane) and held up oncoming traffic by going 30 in a 45. I dusted her in the right lane until I got up to speed and saw like 3 cars pass her. She never got the clue either… she never sped up, she seemed happy going 30 in a 45 in the fast lane holding every one up… Minivan drivers suck.tile

    This confirms it, mini van drivers can’t drive. I’m drivin down the street today, all mindin my own business…when some lady in a mini van makes a left turn. She did one of those things where you stop in the middle in the turn lane. But instead of stopping in the middle like a normal person does…she starts to make the left turn but stops in front of me…in my damn lane…and to make matters worse theres snow on the ground so I can’t stop nearly as fast as I would be able to….I slammed my brakes on so that the car to the right would pass and swerved right and way around and barely avoided an accident….I gave her a little finger action..she deserved it…mini van drivers make me mad, and I don’t know what it is but they all can’t drive…


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    • Roger on:
      All drivers in Bay Area around San Francisco are the worse! They drive like headless chickens! Its horrible.
    • expectnothing on:
      So true!
    • Joey on:
      They are the dumbest people in the ENTIRE world, and I have been all over the world. The driving is derived from a lawless state and group of people who watch politicians have no rules and laws, so therefore they follow suit, which so happens to be "Follow the leader" which is a whole other problem of unoriginal thoughts that these mindless zombies have. But here is the real problem... the want-to-be utopian nature of everything, from the "yoga" to the "eco friendly" to the "lgbt" to the "rainbow parade" and the list goes on and on and on where they can find any reason to micromanage and control your daily life through the brainwash that turned them into the "Let's turn you into an idiot too" mentality... Those specific reasons give the green light for ANYONE and I mean ANYONE to act like a complete mindless, narcissistic socipathic WACKJOB and get away with it free and clear. The driving is just a mirror image of what is going on in these entitled liberal lefty wackos minds who have NO CONCEPT of REALITY outside of the borders of California. 2+2= 4.5 to these idiots all day long, but to be quite frank, there is a possibility that these idiots are mentally lobotomized from the insane levels of fluoride in their public water supply which taints their consciousness to be a walking zombie, just my opinion. All the noise, cars with loud volumes, very mixed society, house on top of house, low income jobs, overpopulation, rudeness, constant drinking and partying everywhere, insanely loud neighbors... THIS IS WHY THESE PEOPLE ARE SO NUMB!!!! <-- Someone who finds great relief finding this website, thank you.
    • Joey on:
      or a better person... these are someone of the most ethically messed up people... with terrible intentions on purpose, and unfortunately if you call them out on it, they play dumb trying to make you question your own sanity. This state should float off far into the pacific. What a waste of human potential...
    • Lina on:
      I don't understand how these amazing people are so terrible driving a car!!! California drivers totally suck!!! DMV need to do something! :(
    • Your bad at driving too on:
      You realize you're adding to the problem judging from your reactions to others incapable driving. I stopped reading because I know your one of the worst of them all and this is a hypocritical article. You should all have your licenses taken away.
    • BJ on:
      I do not see hit and run accidents as much as anywhere in this country. Everyday morning, there are so many cases I see on the news.. Why???? If it rains, forget it... You think you have to drive 20 mph on the highway when you see a rain drop.... People drive in rain and snow all the time. I see that CA people are not used to drive with rain but at least try to learn instead of driving 20 mph and saying it is safer... Why don't you walk instead? It is much safer that way.
    • BJ Yangberg on:
      I have lived in FL, AL, MA, MD, NJ, NY and now in CA. CA drivers are the worst among all the states I have lived. Therefore, I am trying to be very truthful and input with "Fact Base" here. I agree lots of things said above but there are some other things. 1. Turn Signal (Already Mentioned) I videotaped so many times because it really made me laugh and angry. I say 30% would be pretty high for people use blinkers. In other state, you get a ticket if you did not use blinkers. In SoCal, No one uses blinkers and it is ok. When they use it, it is not that you would like to let other drivers to know that you are changing the lane of making a turn. Lots of people do it in the middle of the turn. Why bother? 2. Texting People still text while driving and I see that everyday everywhere. When they do, I noticed that majority of them go 35mph on 50mph zone and causing traffic. PLEASE pull over, text and get back on the road. Stay away from your phone... 3. Traffic Light I see so many people in the front so far away from the line so that they do not even go over the sensor on the road. Another thing is you leave 2 school buses space between the car in front of you and your car. One light can make 10 cars pass but with this, only 4 get to go. I know CA people are very laid back, relaxed but come on... Let's move. If you are making turns, please use your blinkers before you get on the left or right lane, not after you get on the turning lane then turn the signal. When you are suddenly slowing down, people behind you do not know what you are doing. 4. Highway Driving It is called "Freeway" here in CA. I get it. But it doesn't mean you can go 50mph on the left lane causing traffic, people keep passing you on the right. If you would like to drive slow, it is your choice but do not cause a massive traffic or make other people to pass you on the right. There are other countries that left lane is specifically for passing and you will get a ticket if you hold up a traffic. It is a common sense. My 3 years of driving experience in CA has been nothing but nightmare... People just stop in the middle of the road without turning signal or any justification. I find it very selfish... I can't wait to get out of CA not to deal with driving. I have driven in most of States but CA makes the worst of all. It is a FACT....
    • BJ Yangberg on:
      When you are on HOV lane or passing lane going 50 mph in 65 mph zone, cars passing within speed limit on your right side, please move over. Do not block the whole traffic behind you. Be courteous... I see people leaving 10 school buses space in between cars. Move along with the traffic so that you do not have to be causing the traffic. If you do not want to drive with speed limit, then move over to your right and let others move...
    • Vic on:
      "Quite often you see people that will turn right in front of you cutting you off when you are going some insane speed." The problem is your driving at an insane speed. It's insane aa you say.

  • About

    I’ve driven in California since 1991. I’ve spent many trips running up and down the state as well as driving in many other states. After all of this driving, I became fed up with how bad California drivers on. I wanted to point out what they do to either help change a few drivers or at least entertain the rest of the world with Californian’s horrible driving.

    I’m located in Orange County in a couple of the richest areas. I see every type of car that is out there in this area. It’s like a car show. Going to a car show isn’t exciting anymore because you see most of the cars driving around anyway. I also work at a place where people buy all the different types of cars. We have Lamborghinis, Ferraris, Lotus, etc. So you can even see a lot of the cars in the work parking lot.

    Disclaimer: You’re on your own with these tips. They are not the official law and in no way represent what you should be doing should a cop pull you over.

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