Washing Your Car

First go to Weather.com or similar and see if it’s going to rain soon. The weather will always say it’s ok then rain the next day. If you’re lucky you have a garage to, put your car in and maybe protect it from the rain.

Your dad should have taught you how to wash your car by now. Just go buy a bucket (Target/Walmart) and a big sponge. Then go to your sink, heat up the water to max, and pour a little dish soap in the bucket. Fill it up. Then walk it out to your car. For your hose, you need one of those nozzles that lets you switch the format of the water as it comes out (stream, spray, jet, etc). You also need to go buy a chamois. They sell them at Target or a auto part store. They have fake and real ones. I can’t remember which is best but I think I have the fake one. That’s what you use to dry your car. I think I made the mistake of buying a real one the first time and it doesn’t work as well.

Now use the hose and get your car all wet. Try to wash your car around sundown. Avoid washing when it’s really hot out or it dries too fast. Either do it in the morning or evening. After the car is wet, then start soaping up. Slowly go around the car getting all of the body, roof, and windows. If the soap starts to dry, get out the hose and wash it down again. Then go back to soaping. Make sure you  get your headlights and license plate. If there’s bugs all over, scrub hard. They sell this bottle of bug/tar remover. You can buy it at Target or auto part store. Get your hood. Note all of the damage on your car so next time you can see if there’s any new spots. If you run out of water in your bucket, go make more. Each time squeeze the sponge outside of the bucket, then put it down in the soap, squeeze it over the bucket. Then take the sponge and wash. Don’t squeeze the sponge with the dirty/washed water over your bucket of clean water/soap.

When you have finished all of the body, windows, and roof. Now it’s time to do the last step, the wheels. The wheels are super dirty so do them last or your sponge will get all nasty. Do both the wheels and the tires. When you’re all done with the soap, rinse the car off again.

Now it’s time to dry. Take your hose and spray the chamois just a little to get it wet. Then start drying with it. As the chamois gets to wet, ring it out. They do have a device like an old style clothes ringer that can be used. I’ve always wanted to buy them. Car washes have them. Otherwise, just use your hands. You have to dry fast otherwise the car will be covered in water spots. If it’s really hot out, you have to rince another time before drying otherwise you’ll get spots.

Now it’s time for the next step, the HARD work. Get out some paper towels and windex. Go around the the car and use Windex on the windows. It should only take 2 towels per window max. Start wadding up the towels and throw them into the same area to clean up later. Go buy a tiny stool (I got one at Costco) and then use it to sit and work on tires. Use the Windex on the wheels (but not tires). Next you need some tire spray. Go buy it at an auto part store or Target. You can also use Armorall. Spray it around the tire to make the tires shine.

The last step, which most people don’t know, is go get some Maguires Quick Detailer and spray it on the car in little blocks and use a towel to wipe over it. This removes all of the water spots that you might have. I’ve had the same bottle since like 1999.

Now it’s time to clean up. Pour your bucket out. Gather your trash and throw it away. Gather your cleaning supplies and leave them out to dry. The whole process can take as long as 1 1/2 to 2 hours if you do it correctly.


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    • BT on:
      Hey, I'm stuck in CA driving with these idiots all the time. But you can't complain if you're from TX about CA drivers, although it is the only TX place I have been, Houston drivers are just as bad.
    • Dee on:
      Asian Drivers
      Parker must be Asian...."they drives suck"?
    • Rodney Hood on:
      WHY? Because 90% of them are MEXICANS. Majority of them dont have a license and carry fake id. Its their culture thats how they drive.
    • Ophelia on:
      The way I see it, at least in Los Angeles (and San Diego--the other counties of California I've been in have it far less pronounced than these two), a lot of the problems seen on the roads can be attributed to a culture that places great value on speed. Essentially, people in L.A and S.D. are trained from an early age to have their gratification instant, and thus they never learn patience. This is why drivers will speed up to block you when you want to change lanes, this is why tailgating is so rampant, this is why they rarely ever come to a complete stop at stop signs, and this is why there's so much lane-weaving: These are drivers who want to go fast and see slowing down or stopping as an admission of inferiority. For the record, people blocking to stop me when I'm changing lanes is an extremely common occurrence that I figured out a good way to ensure you can get into the lane you need fairly quickly: As long as the traffic is not too congested, just slow down by about 5 miles per hour and get in behind them. The driver trying to block you is doing so either because they're not paying attention, or they cannot stand the thought of someone coming over in front of them. In both cases, they will gladly let you in behind them. (Congestion creates a problem because it means there will be someone else behind them who will think the same thing, and the person behind them likewise, and so forth.) It is an animal instict at work. For most creatures, seeing another creature with their back turned to them indicates the back-turned creature has superior authority. Likewise, a creature taking up a space behind another creature is an act of submission. For some reason, Californian drivers fall to these animal instincts and treat their cars as extensions of themselves. They don't want you getting into their lane in front of them because, subconsciously, they interpret it as you asserting authority over them, but they'll let you in behind them because they see it as you acknowledging their superiority. That's what I think.
    • expectnothing on:
      That's exactly it. It's the attitude of it's ME me me and the whole world doesn't exist besides me.
    • expectnothing on:
      California people tailgate because there's so many damn people, if you didn't, the line of cars would stretch from MEXICO to Oregon. They added 800,000 illegal alien drivers the other year. So that's why. As long as they are not crazy close which I define as you can't even see their headliights behind you. Otherwise, that's how close people drive in RUSH hour. Otherwise, in normal conditions, they're just tailgating and being aholes if it's not rush hour.
    • floyd on:
      Why do Los Angeles driver tailgate, I was coming home on the 60 fwy west bound traffic was almost at a stop and this female person in a infinite climb on my bumper so close I could not see her front plate in my rear view camera I got over then she cut me off and flip me off this was a accident waiting to happen and she ended up on the same off ramp on the 10 fwy west. crazy
    • John Carter on:
      The CORE reason that California drivers have become (Yes! They were once exemplary drivers!) the worst dang drivers in the country; ATTTITUDE! Many people in California have become extremely selfish, arrogant, rude, and just plain INCONSIDERATE. And it shows clearly in the way they drive. It is a "Me, me, me" attitude that explains why they tailgate and drive as fast as their vehicle will go, with no regard to the safety of themselves or others; they steal the legal right-of-way of as many other drivers that they can; and they will never lower their high-beams, no matter whom they blind! I was born and raised in California, and I used to love it. Now I cannot wait to leave!
    • John Carter on:
      It is the result of the pervasive entitlement attitude that has swept over California (I too am a native)! This selfish and inconsiderate attitude reflects clearly in the driving habits of so many people in California.
    • John Carter on:
      You are absolutely correct! I live here (in Calif) and I completely agree and sympathize with you!

  • About

    I’ve driven in California since 1991. I’ve spent many trips running up and down the state as well as driving in many other states. After all of this driving, I became fed up with how bad California drivers on. I wanted to point out what they do to either help change a few drivers or at least entertain the rest of the world with Californian’s horrible driving.

    I’m located in Orange County in a couple of the richest areas. I see every type of car that is out there in this area. It’s like a car show. Going to a car show isn’t exciting anymore because you see most of the cars driving around anyway. I also work at a place where people buy all the different types of cars. We have Lamborghinis, Ferraris, Lotus, etc. So you can even see a lot of the cars in the work parking lot.

    Disclaimer: You’re on your own with these tips. They are not the official law and in no way represent what you should be doing should a cop pull you over.

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