What to do when Pulled Over by a Cop

Much of this is taken from “A Speeder’s Guide to Avoiding Tickets” by SGT. James M. Eagan.

How to Pull Over

Once you’ve been caught, or you think you have been caught. Ditch that Radar Detector. If you’re smart you put it somewhere where you can easily grab it and hide it. I used to put mine left of the steering wheel in the bottom let corner of my windshield where people behind can’t see it. The only prob with that is I think it hurts performance/range, and the cop is SURE to see it there when they stop you if you don’t take it off. If you do decide to take off your Radar detector, make sure you remove everything, and get rid of the suction marks on the windshield and replace that cigarette lighter. All things I’m told cops look for. Maybe it’s just best to put your Radar detector in the top of your rear view mirror with it dimmed and muted (Make sure you at least mute it!)

If the cop sees you doing any of this, you’re even more screwed because they might think it’s a gun or you’re trying to hide drugs or something. The reasoning behind this is that if a cop sees your Radar Detector, it pisses them off and they know you’re up to no good and they will probably surely give you a ticket. I did get out of one ticket with one, but every cop that’s ever seen it hasn’t been happy.

Let him know you see him

After you’ve made that decision, turn on your inside dome light (If it’s night). Then extend your open hand out and wave it a few times to let the cop know that you see them. If you’re in the middle of a pass, accelerate and pass that person allowing plenty of room for the cop to do the same behind you. He has already caught you, slowing down won’t help any. Cops really love when you do this. They think you’re one of them 🙂

Whatever you do Don’t jam on the brakes! This will really freak the cop out because they don’t know what you’re going to do. If you’re going to break for it or what. You’re really screwed if you brake so don’t do it. Don’t even tap on the brakes until your final stop.

Pick a NICE spot to land

Your next task is to pick a good spot to pull over. You should work your way right at a safe pace. Don’t make any sharp passes or work too hard to get over quickly. You want the process of pulling you over to be as easy as possible for the cop. Pissing him off means it’s over.

You want to pick a nice spot that will allow you to pull over well off the freeway. You don’t want to pick a spot that will mean you will be right in the slow lane. Even better, you should pull off on the next available exit if there is one and pull into some gas station or something. Sure you’ll draw the looks from all the people laughing at your ass, but you’ll be doing the same anywhere so why give the cop a nice spot to stop.

Once you have found your spot, take a nice slow stop to the right with your blinker on. (Make sure you remember the turn signal!) And make sure you give the cop plenty of time behind you to slow down. You don’t want to brake too suddenly.

Once you are stopped

Once you are stopped, make sure you set your emergency brake or set it in park (for you auto foolios). Now turn off your radio if you have it on and roll down your left window.

Next place BOTH hands on the steering wheel and sit still. Don’t move. Don’t make any sudden moves. If you have anyone in the car with you, tell them to NOT turn around, but to just to sit still. And make sure you tell them to shut up and not do anything to make the situation worse.

Whatever you do, don’t get out of the car unless they ask you to. If you get out the cop will/probably draw our his gun on your ass if he isn’t already yelling at you to get TF back in your car.

Remember one screw up can be the difference between a ticket or not.

What Next?

Now the cop will come up to your window. It’s up to you if you wanna say the first thing, but if you do, make it good.

The cop will most likely ask you “Do you know why I pulled you over” What he wants you to say is “yes boss, you be pulling me over because my dumb ass was speeding” which is exactly what you don’t want to say. You don’t want to admit what you were doing at all. The proper response to that question, (the one I give) is “No, why did you pull me over?” The cop usually doesn’t like that response but it’s the only good one.

The next trick question is usually “Do you know how fast you were going?” If you say you do, you’re Fucked. He’ll probably ask you how fast, and you either tell the truth, and you’re fucked or lie and you’re even more fucked. So what I usually say is “No I wasn’t paying attention” They really don’t like this answer because they know you’ve out thought them. So they generally reply with something like “Oh don’t you pay attention to your driving/speed?” To which I usually go “I had the radio on and I wasn’t really paying attention.”

After that they usually say how fast they think you were going. There maybe some other questions but usually not. They will then probably ask for your license and registration. Sometimes it’s just the license because they already ran your plates or something. I’ve seen them go both ways. What you do then is confirm what they said and say where it is. Such as “let me get my license out of my wallet” Now make sure to break eye contact and look down to get out your license. If you look at them while you’re doing it it will really freak them out like you’re probably reaching for a gun. Once you’ve handed them your license, they might ask for the registration. Give them the location for it and reach over for it. If it’s the glove box, leave it
open after grabbing it as if you don’t care if they see in. (Got nothing to hide).

After that who knows, the cop by this point usually has decided based on your actions/record what to do. You should try to act scared (I never have a problem with that I usually start shaking, I see traffic school, and high insurance) I heard if you start crying like a girl, you get out of them every time. If you don’t go for that, just be polite. Being a dick screws you over for sure. After you know they are going to give you a ticket for sure, it’s up to you how to act. You can be nice, which you should be if you plan to fight it. Or you can be a dick, but then they might pile some more crap on you.

The book above has a whole chapter on tricks to get out of tickets, but none of them look plausible enough for me to try. I don’t think I could keep a straight face.

No matter what you think of the cops, say it later. Mouthing off never gets you anywhere and usually lands you in more trouble. My chick loves mouthing off to cops because her ex was a cop and she never gets out of any tickets.

Conclusion

These are just some hints that can help you out. It’s by no means a complete plan for every cop, every situation but it’s worked for me. The first time I tried the above actions, the cop asked if I was either a cop or in law enforcement. That should show you how good I drive 🙂 When I said I wasn’t (probably shoulda lied) he knocked down my 85 in a 50 down to 65 in a 50. Big ticket savings, all because I knew what to do when pulled over.

Next time I did this with a local sheriff. He was a real prick. He started bagging on me cuz he saw that Radar Detector. He said “oh got a history of speeding eh?” then he looked up my record, saw it was totally spotless, and let me go. He started to walk away and I said “Is that it?” Because I was expecting a ticket. He said “Why you want more?” I said “No” and he let me go.

I wasn’t so lucky with the Local Berrien Springs Cops in Michigan. Those donut eaters were as dirty as they came, making up fake stuff about people, pushing people around. A bunch of fat asses too.. So when they pulled me over, they stuck it to me. Only like a 65$fine tho’ not like California.

If you’re a hot chick, you don’t have to listen to any of this. I have heard all these amazing stories from various hot chicks (usually blonde) about how they get out of all these incredible situations (90 mph in a 50) just because they are hot. Anyone remember that Seinfeld episode? That’s how it is in real life.

4 Responses to “What to do when Pulled Over by a Cop”

  1. expectnothing says:

    I got pulled over for the first time last week. Luckily, I read your page on getting out of tickets and it worked. I was going about 47 in a 40 (hardly ticket worthy) on Bayshore drive in Tampa, FL. He said I was going 55… yeah right. The lanes are narrow and there’s not many places to pull over. I even used your handwave and waited to pull over until I was in a safe place for him to get out of his car. He asked the question, “Do you know how fast you were going?” to which I used your classic reply, “No sir, I wasn’t paying attention.” I think being in the military and in uniform helped as well because he just gave me a warning, said people die on this road all the time (yeah right) and to be more attentive in the future. Thanks for the tips!

    ThE_WatcHDoG

  2. Jacob says:

    I dont think this all details are gone work in the same way all the time, the best advice to get through this type of situation is being calm to face it.

  3. Stoshy says:

    Do you know why I pulled you over?
    No, Officer.
    Do you know how fast you were going?
    Yes, Officer.
    Oh really? How fast?
    . . . (Silence is not an admission of guilt. 5th Amendment)

    Always refer to them as “Officer”. It is the respectful way to address them. Saying Sir or Ma’am may give them the notion you have been to prison. Inmates are conditioned to say Yessir/Nossir.

    If they ask you to exit the vehicle, do so and comply. They can drag you out by your hair if they want to for noncompliance.

    Always be respectful. It will make your life easier in the end. It may lighten the mood of the police officer.

    No sudden movements. If they ask for your information, list their specific location and note aloud your actions in retrieving them. If your papers are in say a far away glovebox, ask for permission to retrieve them. The Officer is expecting the worst. They do not know if you are some cop-hating, gun toting, drug addict seeking to end their lives. They will react in self-defense. They will rain hell down on you first to protect themselves and their partners.

    Never argue with a cop. Argue your case in court.

    Signing a ticket is not an admission of guilt, just an acknowledgement that you received it.

  4. Jordan says:

    Bro wtf the cop didnt say any of that shit to me all he said was “I pulled you over because you were speeding” and then wrote me a ticket and said he clocked me doing 80. I’ve finished traffic school since but this guy didn’t even give me a chance to explain or anything i was sitting in the middle lane doing 80 California is fucking ridiculous I cant wait to go back to the east coast


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    • BT on:
      Why?
      Hey, I'm stuck in CA driving with these idiots all the time. But you can't complain if you're from TX about CA drivers, although it is the only TX place I have been, Houston drivers are just as bad.
    • Dee on:
      Asian Drivers
      Parker must be Asian...."they drives suck"?
    • Rodney Hood on:
      Why?
      WHY? Because 90% of them are MEXICANS. Majority of them dont have a license and carry fake id. Its their culture thats how they drive.
    • Ophelia on:
      Why?
      The way I see it, at least in Los Angeles (and San Diego--the other counties of California I've been in have it far less pronounced than these two), a lot of the problems seen on the roads can be attributed to a culture that places great value on speed. Essentially, people in L.A and S.D. are trained from an early age to have their gratification instant, and thus they never learn patience. This is why drivers will speed up to block you when you want to change lanes, this is why tailgating is so rampant, this is why they rarely ever come to a complete stop at stop signs, and this is why there's so much lane-weaving: These are drivers who want to go fast and see slowing down or stopping as an admission of inferiority. For the record, people blocking to stop me when I'm changing lanes is an extremely common occurrence that I figured out a good way to ensure you can get into the lane you need fairly quickly: As long as the traffic is not too congested, just slow down by about 5 miles per hour and get in behind them. The driver trying to block you is doing so either because they're not paying attention, or they cannot stand the thought of someone coming over in front of them. In both cases, they will gladly let you in behind them. (Congestion creates a problem because it means there will be someone else behind them who will think the same thing, and the person behind them likewise, and so forth.) It is an animal instict at work. For most creatures, seeing another creature with their back turned to them indicates the back-turned creature has superior authority. Likewise, a creature taking up a space behind another creature is an act of submission. For some reason, Californian drivers fall to these animal instincts and treat their cars as extensions of themselves. They don't want you getting into their lane in front of them because, subconsciously, they interpret it as you asserting authority over them, but they'll let you in behind them because they see it as you acknowledging their superiority. That's what I think.
    • expectnothing on:
      Why?
      That's exactly it. It's the attitude of it's ME me me and the whole world doesn't exist besides me.
    • expectnothing on:
      Why?
      California people tailgate because there's so many damn people, if you didn't, the line of cars would stretch from MEXICO to Oregon. They added 800,000 illegal alien drivers the other year. So that's why. As long as they are not crazy close which I define as you can't even see their headliights behind you. Otherwise, that's how close people drive in RUSH hour. Otherwise, in normal conditions, they're just tailgating and being aholes if it's not rush hour.
    • floyd on:
      Why?
      Why do Los Angeles driver tailgate, I was coming home on the 60 fwy west bound traffic was almost at a stop and this female person in a infinite climb on my bumper so close I could not see her front plate in my rear view camera I got over then she cut me off and flip me off this was a accident waiting to happen and she ended up on the same off ramp on the 10 fwy west. crazy
    • John Carter on:
      Why?
      The CORE reason that California drivers have become (Yes! They were once exemplary drivers!) the worst dang drivers in the country; ATTTITUDE! Many people in California have become extremely selfish, arrogant, rude, and just plain INCONSIDERATE. And it shows clearly in the way they drive. It is a "Me, me, me" attitude that explains why they tailgate and drive as fast as their vehicle will go, with no regard to the safety of themselves or others; they steal the legal right-of-way of as many other drivers that they can; and they will never lower their high-beams, no matter whom they blind! I was born and raised in California, and I used to love it. Now I cannot wait to leave!
    • John Carter on:
      Why?
      It is the result of the pervasive entitlement attitude that has swept over California (I too am a native)! This selfish and inconsiderate attitude reflects clearly in the driving habits of so many people in California.
    • John Carter on:
      Why?
      You are absolutely correct! I live here (in Calif) and I completely agree and sympathize with you!

  • About

    I’ve driven in California since 1991. I’ve spent many trips running up and down the state as well as driving in many other states. After all of this driving, I became fed up with how bad California drivers on. I wanted to point out what they do to either help change a few drivers or at least entertain the rest of the world with Californian’s horrible driving.

    I’m located in Orange County in a couple of the richest areas. I see every type of car that is out there in this area. It’s like a car show. Going to a car show isn’t exciting anymore because you see most of the cars driving around anyway. I also work at a place where people buy all the different types of cars. We have Lamborghinis, Ferraris, Lotus, etc. So you can even see a lot of the cars in the work parking lot.

    Disclaimer: You’re on your own with these tips. They are not the official law and in no way represent what you should be doing should a cop pull you over.

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